Moving...!

As you may (or may not) know, I am moving next week to a new house (yes, I do live in a house.....No seriously, I do!). Now, I have gone through so many moves* already that you might think it would be easy this time.....but it's not.

Now, as I go back through the old process, a certain thought has re-entered my head, and it throbs there uncontrollably. This is my thought:
Whoever invented the "art" of moving should be shot, and his lifeless body should maybe be hung on a tree in the town square.....upside down. No...I jest, upside down is a little excessive, and kind of grotesque (I mean, have you ever seen a dead man hanging upside down....not pretty...).
Anyway....(now that I've scared away whatever little audience I had....) what was my point in all of this? That the way moving is handled sucks....horridly. Now, once upon a time, all the moving was done by the people thast were moving, they packed, taped, moved, unpacked, broke and lost their own stuff. No help required (besides those friends and relitives you blackmailed into helping.). Now the peoblem with this is fairly obvious. It's alot of work! And alot of extra headache on top of everything else your dealing with just to get/buy/build the house you're moving into. Besides all the paperwork....

Now, there had to be a better way, and the moving gods disscussed possibilities. The answer they finally came up with, was the "Moving Company". Now, you might see the problem with this right away, but, obviously the moving gods didn't (they're not really the brightest of Roman deities--there was that one time....when they lost Zeus's lightning bolt....anyway....). The problem is this: Now, instead of you being the one to move/lose/break your stuff, someone else moves/loses/breaks your stuff (usually more then you would, too). Now, there is another, less realized problem here, but it is really quite obvious. The fact is, the movers are not you. Now, you might think this is fairly obvious, in fact, you're probably wondering if I know who I am right now...but my point is this, they label, box and pack things differently then you will. So, chances are, even IF nothing is broken/lost/guffawed on, you probably won't be able to find it whenyou get there. You'll be like "What is 'Bonus Plant Room'? I don't remember us having one of those...' and your nearest family member will be like 'I don't know, but it's got the Kitchen cutlery in it....'. So, you see the dilema.

Now, I have racked my brain, and I believe I've come up with a long term solution. tele-port-ation. That's right. T-el-epor-tat-ion....I mean, um, Teleportation.** ehem. Stop looking at me like that! Seriously, I think this could be the bomb, you know? It's like, you say where you want the furniture to go, and it goes, instantly!All we need, is to figure out how to get it to work...but, that can't be TOO hard....I mean, we have the atom bomb, how hard's a little worm-hole-thing got to be?! I give it ten years...anyway, until then, here's some moving tips to help you in your "Moving Blues" (it's kinda like Chicago Blues, but with a moving instead of a Chicago attatched). Enjoy:
http://interiordec.about.com/od/moving/a/org_movetips.htm

*This is my 16th move.....in 16 years of living....ugh.
**Teleportation is not designed for Carbon-based life forms of any kind. Gargling is not recommended. Do not use Teleportation if you are nursing, pregnant, or may become pregnant. Also, do not use Teleportation if you have any sort of toe-fungus, or wish to remain in the same basic geometric shape. Ask your mover if Teleportation is right for you today!