One of Those Days

Remember this when going up a level.

There is this annoying fact that seems to follow me: When I have the most on my mind, I feel the least like blogging, whereas when I have nothing on my mind, I feel compelled to make sure my posts are up to date, but with nothing interesting to write about. Today is one of those days. There is nothing of any major interest to report beyond a few personal notes.

I found myself for some reason in an entirely foul temperment last weekend, and I have no idea why. The outworking of this mood is interesting though, because I started working on Rift again for the first time in over a year...and I'm not sure what that means (or even if that is a good thing). One thing is for sure though, and that is that the overall idea of the book is solid and I certainly want to finish it. After some minor (read major) tweaking of the story arch, I find it is something I can actually write and yet feel good about myself afterwards. Overall though, the feel of the book is the same. Also: I just wrote an epilogue that I am really quite proud of, so, those of you who would be interested in such things should talk to me about it and I might be persuaded to let you give it an advanced read.

I've been doing a lot of thinking recently about what the proper understanding of music should be in terms of the aim of worshiping God. Modern praise music has always seemed somewhat insufficient to me for various reasons, never moving me for any real reason, and when it does move me, I feel like I am being manipulated by cheap parlor tricks--much like pop music, actually. Now, I get fully get the point that to some, the music does indeed move them to worship, etc. But then this leads me to two options: Either feeling as though I am somehow less spiritual because I am "unable" to worship in the same manner, or to a false disdain. This problem is especially distilled in my heart because as a musician, I want to be able to write music that worships God in a way that I believe is both legitimate and proper, while at the same time appealing to my aesthetic sensibilities about "good music," and I mean this in terms of lyrical content as well (and in this case especially in regards to) as musical maturity. In other words, adopting the same problems inherent in popular music (e.g. a simplistic I IV V I progression) doesn't cut it for me. Also appreciate that I would make a distinction between simplistic and simple. A piece can be simple (As the Deer Pants would be a good example, or if you want a newer example to prove that I like modern music, "Oh My God" by Jars of Clay) without being "simplistic" (An example of many would be "Famous One"...and I'm sorry if you like that song). To summarize, I think the issue really is that the modern Christian seems bent upon catchy, mediocre music (which, by itself, or even in small amounts is not terrible), rather than trying to give the best and truly most quality music possible up to God as worship. True wisdom is often likened to true craftsmanship in the Bible, and if we are going to be wise in music we raise to God, let us make sure it is well crafted music. Should we really give Him any less than our absolute best? It's like the difference between a five year old that is just learning to play the piano: playing "twinkle, twinkle little star" or "lightly row" at a concert is the depth of their understanding and ability as a "craftsman" in that instrument, but if a college music performance grad were to play that same piece at a concert, that wouldn't be acceptable, because their depth of understanding is greater. To put it another way, they have grown beyond it. In the same way, then, the modern worship song is permissible in regards to Christians when we realize that we cannot stop there. If we stopped at Twinkle Twinkle when studying piano, we wouldn't be happy! Therefore, we need to strive beyond the twinkle twinkle of the worship song industry as we grow deeper in our faith.

Another interesting article on a different, but still very important issue regarding "worship music," was in Christianity Today about a year and a half ago (but I sadly found just recently). It was written by John Stackhouse Jr. and can be found here.

Now to be honest, all of the above is coming from me, a person who is almost completely enamored with the idea of hymns on Sunday morning. I have to confess that I would be more than elated to find only hymns on the "worship" list both at church, at chapel, and any time that believers worship corporately. Modern songs which fit into the hymn genre (such as Stewart Townend songs and the like) would also work in my book. I just feel as though it is a better corporate worship environment and puts my heart and mind in the right place to listen to the sermon, take communion, and really reverence the confessions and benediction the way they deserve. I also hold onto a dichotomy outside of a corporate worship setting in which I like all sorts of music. I also find that certain "rock" songs can lead me to worship God, but I find that that is a very personal, individual form of worship that would not fit in my book into the reverence deserving the gathering of the saints and the invisible church in communion. Yes, we are the temple and we can approach God "as we are," but that does not mean that there is no place for holiness, reverence, and tradition. When we gather on Sunday mornings, we have to remember that we are worshiping God together not just with our individual church bodies, not just all the churches around the world, but with all believers throughout history. In other words, we are worshiping with the "invisible, universal church throughout the ages," and that fact is still less important than the one that we are worshiping. And that requires reverence beyond reverence. We may come as we are, yes, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't strive to come with the best attitudes, minds and hearts we possibly can. I just thought I should post a confession of bias in regards to my above post by letting you know that yes, I am just as stodgy as you probably imagined. But at least I have reasons for it and not just blind tradition: I grew up in many post-90s rock-concert-from-the-pulpit era churches and am actually reacting against it, but with a theological basis. And all of this to say, go ahead and disagree, that's your prerogative.

Jumping off the serious train for a moment, (and actually off of the music train which this blog seems to get stuck on  no matter how hard I try), I started playing Final Fantasy XIII over the weekend, and let me just say this: Even though it is more linear than I usually like, and even though it isn't FFVII, nothing is or can be. It is still a flipping fantastic game, the storyline is gripping--driving even--and I have a hard time pulling away. All but one of the characters (Vanille is the odd one out) is excellently designed and realistic in terms of character development and motivations, and without any exceptions, the game is gorgeous. I am playing it on the PS3 and in 1080p, and every facet is breathtaking. Games like this one make me hope FF never dies.

I also seem to have this problem that I am never motivated to work on schoolwork when I have time to do it. But that's an ongoing battle. I want to want to constantly study, and when I actually force myself to do it, I enjoy it. But the issue is that I so rarely study what I'm supposed to when I am supposed to. Alas.

I sat upon the shore

Fishing, with the arid plain behind me

Shall I at least set my lands in order?

London Bridge is falling down falling down falling down

-TS Elliot

All these things considered, it is worth thinking about those times when nothing happens.